Being single is weird though. I was telling a friend about it, and how bad it is. I told him it was like there’s this party. And everyone is inside having a good time, drinking wine, eating cheese. Everyone but you. You’re outside parking cars like Eddie Murphy and Arsenio Hall in Coming to America. And I asked for his advice, hoping that he could lead me on a path towards finding love and maybe happiness. He said, “Sir, your total is $6.41. Please drive up to the second window.” I didn’t know what he meant then, but I believe he suggested that I eat my feelings. He’s right. It works for me.
I was at the movies a short time ago, and this girl brought her little brother to the movies. They were standing in front of me. The little brother was probably about 8 years old. The girl in the ticket booth is maybe 17 or 18. They get their tickets, and the little brother says the following to the girl in the booth: “Hey shawty, you kinda fine. Can I get that number?” The girl says, “You are so cute!” “I’m cute, you cute. Two cute people need to get together and do something, nawmean?” Does this 8-year old even know what he means? And then he starts rapping to her: “She’s a very freaky girl/She get it from her momma/First you get her name/Then you get her number/Then you get some brain in the front seat of the…Does he know what “brain” means? Who is teaching him these words and phrases? What if it was the other way around? An 8-year old girl hitting on an 18-year old guy? Everyone in here should be thinking the same thing…that girl has serious daddy issues. She’s only 8. If she’s making the first move, it’s just a downward spiral…we’re talking future stripper. I don’t know why I have these thoughts. Maybe I just refuse to resign myself to the fact that I have less “game” than an 8-year old boy.
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