I am faced with dilemmas a lot. Usually once or twice a week, I have some kind of moral dilemma. Last week, I was faced with one of course. I asked myself, and every guy should ask themselves this same question…can you masturbate to a porn star…if in real life, she’s dead? Are we honoring her memory by jerking it…or are we disgracing her life? But porn is what she did with her life, so we are actually honoring her life. Unless you are a necrophiliac, then her death is a plus? Maybe, but you’re just disgracing her body…pervert.
Remember the episode of Saved By the Bell where Kelly couldn’t go to the prom because her family couldn’t afford to pay for anything? The audience is supposed to be sad for her. Some were sad for Zack. “Oh my god. He’ll never fuck her now. She’s poor.” There were some holes in that story. Didn’t Kelly have a job at the Max? Did she save any money? There’s a reason that teenagers want jobs: so they can do shit that’s important at that age---buy a car, buy a fake ID so they can buy booze, and buy all the shit they need for the prom, which is like planning a wedding before the real thing. And her friends didn’t even try to help her; that was messed up. Kelly’s like “I can’t go to the prom.” You know how Lisa felt. “I’m sorry, Kelly. Guess I’m winning prom queen now, you broke bitch.” I was gonna do a joke about the caffeine pill episode with Jessie. I was excited about it. Then I got scared. You know I never gave you part 4 of "Indifferent Graffitti?" Enjoy.
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